Right Now..

I feel on top of the world!!!!!!!!!

Har Ghar Kuch Kehta Hai!!!

Laughter, tears, anxiety, excitement, indolence, weariness, fear, anger, relief, all resident members of me and my extended self - my room. Today mumma tells me we have to vacate this house as it isn’t ours and we’ve to move on. It isn’t ours? How can it not be when every brick, every speck of dust, every chipped paint coating and every crack in the wall has been witness to my life, my being, my survival, my fight, my victory and my defeat? I have grown up here from a silly girl to a muddled up woman, from a carefree bird to a fierce wild eagle, from a lost soul to a free spirit.
My loyal friends, the curtains always donned the mood I wore – sunshiny happy yellow or deep sad green, always lending a fluttering shoulder to dance or to cry on. Prison it seemed but never did the walls hold me captive; they only silently absorbed my tears into their pores. Even when the air was heavy, pregnant with animosity, the windows always let in pleasant zephyrs as lullabies putting me to sleep. Away from the crazy rush of people, noisy minds and jabbering tongues I always found my way back to my sanity, my haven, my favourite room. Change is constant and we will move on, leave this place and seek comfort elsewhere. But I am leaving behind a major part of me, the part which is the scrap, the me which went through the cutting, chiseling, drilling, shaping, painting and polishing to give the final product!! I step out of this room, this house with a world of change in me. But what I’ll never forget is that it is this room where I cried over the loss of my brother, blushed at the feeling of falling in love, burnt the midnight oil to prepare for exams, shared a gazillion secrets with my friends, read the most amazing books on my favourite couch, admired myself in the mirror for hours, danced like a crazy kangaroo to blaring music, tried to mend my broken heart, made vital decisions in my life, learnt that Life is either NOW and HERE or NOWHERE.
I’ll miss you my room, I’ll miss you my dear house. You have been my biggest comfort, like a mother embracing me and soothing me through the warm days and the cold nights. Goodbye sweet home.

But this time the slithering slimy mucous-filled shapeless evil creature has managed to cross the divide and has surpassed the Entrance Stone.

Dil dukha hai lekin, toota toh nahin hain, umeed ka daaman choota toh nahin hain..!!!

Wouldn’t it be nice if choices in life would be as simple as a yes or a no, black or white, this or that? But no. Every one decision has a gazillion tentacles lashing out in some soft spot of life, causing an itch or a bleeding gash. Someone mentioned the word ‘fate’ to me in some conversation and I began to mull over it. Fate! The F word everyone is so obsessed with. But I feel Fate is nothing but an excuse to explain your weakness when you succumb to the situation and accept one particular pathway to tread on, simply because it is the less painful one (of course, road blocks are in every direction, no pain no gain bebeh!!). It’s all about the choice one makes between the devil and the sea. Either everyone on the outside, the so called ‘world’ is happy and approves of your decision or your heart has followed its own course earning a few enemies en route. Phew!!
But then again, what’s the fun if life gets too predictable and easy going? The whole kick is in this constant losing and gaining. Fear and ambiguity are the push factors. Like the Sprite ad – Darr sabko lagta hai. Darr se aage badho. Darr ke aage jeet hai.. J
So I say, buck up guys and gals. Life isn’t such a bad deal after all. Let the sunshine of happiness ablate all sorrows, let your smile illumine dark corners of your mind and drive away those anxieties, let your inner strength and calm break all barriers between you and your dreams – open your arms wide and let this alluring life engulf you. Cheers!

Antonyms

We Live * We Die

We Win * We Lose

We Laugh * We Cry

We Hurt * We Forgive

We Soar * We Drown

We Hope * We Sigh

We Accept * We Deny

We Love * We Survive

De-Cold

Head feels as if a military march past is on, eyes feel like two painful water balloons, nose – part leaky part blocked, not letting air pass through to my lungs, throat – a cacti forest, a rain of sneezes, a bonanza of coughs, a sick, ill, cranky, exhaustion throughout my body. I do not like getting a cold. As if anyone fancies it. But I HATE it. It’s a constant irritation. My jaws, joints and the last bit of every bone is also aching. My already huge nose is serving as a nice bright red clown’s nose. I want to sleeeeeep. But I’m stuck in office, on a Friday evening, dreaming of hot and sour soup, tucked in bed and reading Shantaram – wow! Just a few hours away – and yet it seems so far away. Boo hoo!

My office chaaya!!

Served thrice a day, the same pathetic chaaya, has sadly become my habit. As they say beggars cannot be choosers. I am repulsively accustomed to this tea served in office. It is watery with a stale milk smell. It is bland sometimes, cloying and nauseating other times. I miss the sexy coffee served at my old office. Man! That was something I could kill for. Standing on the third floor ka fire exit, gazing up at the vast spread of sky above, with a steaming cup of perfectly blended fresh coffee beans and milk, thick foam sticking on to my upper lip, aah! Bliss!!! The pantry guy Venkat is my best friend in office. Good mood ho toh celebration ke liye coffee. Bad mood ho toh support ke liye coffee. Somehow he used to serve me with that elixir at the very precise moment. I miss him, his smiling face and most of all, his knack of making the most awesome coffee in this universe. This chaaya, I am staring at right now tastes like puke. Not that I have tasted puke but you know, it is just terrible. Once in a blue moon there is ginger tea which is bearable. Just like this dump of a place, the tea depresses me. Oh Lord, lift the dark clouds, give us lowly mortals some hope, let my poor organization afford a coffee vending machine!!!! Till then, I silently endure this steel cup mein pathetic chaaya.